Convicted by my own hypocrisy…

Convicted by my own hypocrisy…

Life Transitions/Life Purpose
How can I with power and authority lead others on a path to mental wellness when my own is in shambles? I can not.  My lack of self-care and inattention to my own well being while using other peoples struggles to distract me from my own has lead me to see my actions for what they were, hypocrisy. I can not in good faith ask others to do what I was unwilling to do myself.  I could no longer extol the benefits of self-affirmations, exercise, mindfulness, rest, meditation, and, fearlessness when I was gripped by fear and self-doubt. Fear had a hold.  Fear gave me permission to do nothing, to use my circumstances as a reason for complacency, to shrink my responsibility to myself and to you.  I retreated over and…
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Mental Illness Isn’t Sexy but it’s Real:  Lets Talk About It

Mental Illness Isn’t Sexy but it’s Real: Lets Talk About It

Life Transitions/Life Purpose
We have a problem.  A really big problem.  A problem that is difficult to talk about but easy to minimize.  A problem that is so insidious that some of us don't even acknowledge that there is a problem.  Or that some of us deem it "their problem".  Or we ridicule those who acknowledge, accept, and attempt to fix the problem.  And the problem is just getting worse. Mental Illness is real.  It is not a sign of weakness. A lack of faith.  A cry for attention.  An issue that we can afford to keep defunding and expect everything to be OK. The prevalence of mental illness is becoming more and more apparent as care is becoming more negligent.  Ignoring mental illness doesn't make it go away. Recently I have seen…
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Wednesday Wisdom

Wednesday Wisdom

Effective Communication, Life Transitions/Life Purpose
Being vulnerable does not make you a sucker.   Asking for help does not make you weak. Engaging in therapy does not make you a heathen Accepting support does not make you a leech. Crying does not make you soft. Wanting comfort does not make you needy Missing someone does not make you clingy Being angry doesn't mean you're out of control Wanting to feel safe doesn't mean you're controlling Wanting the clamor inside your head to be quiet does not make you crazy. None of theses things are inherently negative.  They are Human. You are Human.  You have a right to feel however you feel.  The goal is to become self aware.  To use discernment so we are not victims of others or our own mismanaged emotions.  Acknowledge them.…
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Can’t conceal my blood tinged tears: Suicide Prevention Month

Can’t conceal my blood tinged tears: Suicide Prevention Month

Trauma/Triggers/Coping
In addition to Sickle Cell Awareness, September is also Suicide Awareness Month and today is the beginning of Suicide Prevention Week. Suicide is not a topic most want to discuss.  It makes us uncomfortable.  It brings up so many conflicting thoughts: anger, shame, blame, frustration, guilt, hurt, sadness just to name a few.  All of those emotions are valid. Suicide starts with a thought.  Things would be easier if I wasn't here.  Whether we want to admit it or not, most if not all of us have had this thought, most of us shake it off and keep going.  It's a momentary frustration with life as we navigate our struggles. Damn, if I just didn't exist, if I killed myself now,  I would not have to deal with all of…
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Sickle Cell, up close and personal; National Sickle Cell Awareness Month

Sickle Cell, up close and personal; National Sickle Cell Awareness Month

Life Transitions/Life Purpose
I am the mother of three, including a set of twins, one of which has sickle cell. In honor of September’s sickle cell awareness month, we share our story. The disorder runs on my father's side of the family and I lost two older brothers from sickle cell complications. I learned that my youngest daughter had sickle cell from her newborn screen.  After the initial shock and confusion (My ex husband and I were unaware that he carried the trait although we were aware that I had it) I did everything I could to become educated on the disease. Sickle Cell is a blood disorder that causes the red blood cells to change from their normal pliable circular shape to a sickle shape. These cells are sticky and can become stuck in blood vessels, leading…
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Be an authority over your own thoughts: A hard conversation with myself

Be an authority over your own thoughts: A hard conversation with myself

Life Transitions/Life Purpose
Woke up this morning and felt unsettled in my spirit.  I found out something that made me start to question myself.  It was causing feelings of bitterness and was disrupting my productivity.  These thoughts were stealing my contentment.  I tried to swallow down the frustration but it got stuck in my chest.  I could feel it tightening.  My head started to hurt and I felt my hands contracting into fist.  I started asking the questions? Why not me? Why are things so difficult for me? Why must I always struggle? Where is my break? Why is everyone else prospering and I'm having such a hard time? And on and on. Then I stopped. I stopped and checked myself.  Sure, life isn't fair, but my journey is my own and I…
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Stress Management as a Family Unit

Stress Management as a Family Unit

Trauma/Triggers/Coping
What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger: Dealing with stress in the family as a family. Strong families are beneficial to not only themselves but to the communities in which they reside; they are the building blocks of society.  Unfortunately even the strongest family can be shaken by stress.   However, the stress itself is not so much the problem but how it is dealt with.   The mismanagement of stress can lead to fissures in the foundation of the family system. Effective communication is the best tool for a family to use to successfully navigate stressors, and often the most underutilized.  People tend to deal with stress in silos.  Opting to go it alone opposed to coming together to tackle it as a team; from the teen being bullied at school,…
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Help for the helpers

Help for the helpers

Trauma/Triggers/Coping
On occasion I will share personal experiences in an effort to make of myself a mirror. To reflect back my struggles and my growth so that others don't feel alone. I help because I understand I understand because I've been there and I return there with the hopes of bringing someone else out with me... It's difficult being in the helping profession when you yourself are not on solid ground. I have experienced some trials and tribulations and as much as part of me wants to hold on to anger and bitterness, as much as I feel I have a right to these emotions; that they are some how righteous, I also know that clinging to them is hindering me. It is negatively effecting everything I do, from my business…
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Children Mental Health Awareness

Children Mental Health Awareness

Awareness Months, Children Mental Health
Dancing through daffodils Smiling at the frog as it leaps to freedom Upturned face capturing the sweet breeze Swing set waiting in anticipation for little legs to set it flying Sprinklers chase them through the grass As peals of laughter waft up to the listening ears of perched birds Sun shining on closed lids As they wake up from a dream full of peace Only to open their eyes and realize it’s another day Another day of being sad And they wish they could go back to sleep again The escape of a child… ~Yulinda Rock Caring for children is one of the most important tasks we have as adults. All around us is evidence of what happens when we don't: Chaos. May 5th is children's mental health awareness day.…
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Anchor

Anchor

Esteem, self-care, Trauma/Triggers/Coping
It's been a quiet month of January for me. It made me anxious that I had not posted. I felt compelled to force communication and every time I came here to post, it felt unauthentic, so I chose silence. And in that silence I remained true to myself. Often we do things not because we want to but because we feel we should. At times sacrificing to the point where we have nothing left, not even for ourselves. Does this sound familiar? Giving from a place which others do not replenish, leaving it empty? It is a wonderful thing to be caring. To want to help others, but not if it diminishes you. That way lies bitterness. Im not exempt from the lesson. It took me a while to get…
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